Astros getting left in the dust

Baseball Betting Lines

07/11/2008 - (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - To say that things haven't exactly gone the Houston Astros' way this season would be quite an understatement.

When the general manager is getting choke-slammed by a player, and your league MVP candidate is sidelined because of pink eye, it's usually a pretty good bet the playoffs aren't at the forefront of everyone's mind. It's simply been one of those seasons for the Astros, and the light at the end of the tunnel is still months away.

Even with Wednesday's 6-4 win over the Pittsburgh Pirates, Houston is just 2-7 in the month of July. Houston kicked off the month with three straight losses at home to the Los Angeles Dodgers. They've followed that up by dropping two of three to both the Atlanta Braves and the Pirates, the latter of which occupied last place in the National League Central for much of the season -- until now. June wasn't much better, either. This time last month, the Astros were in the midst of a stretch in which they lost eight straight, and 12 of 14.

With the team in the nation's capital this weekend taking on the Washington Nationals, it will be a battle between last-place teams. Got your tickets? The real question facing this team is, where exactly are they headed? General manager Ed Wade has his work cut out for him to address that one. After all, the nucleus of the team, with guys like Berkman, Carlos Lee and Roy Oswalt, isn't exactly tomorrow's youth.

Granted, there are a few promising young players on the club, such as outfielder Hunter Pence and pitcher Wandy Rodriguez. But the list more or less stops there. The majority of the roster is filled with guys in their 30s. With the trade deadline nearing, the whispers have gotten louder about Roy Oswalt (7-8, 4.60) being shipped elsewhere. The team, and Oswalt, have downplayed such talks. The team's highest paid player, Miguel Tejada, who is raking in nearly $15 million this year, has been hitting around the Mendoza Line for the better part of the last two months. Not surprisingly, the team has spiraled downward ever since.

Houston has a combined salary of nearly $90 million this season, with Tejada, Oswalt, Berkman and Lee making up the lion's share of that figure. Indeed, Wade will have his hands full in order to get this team headed in the right direction. So far, his only move of significance was sending closer Brad Lidge to Philadelphia for Geoff Geary and some change. Lidge hasn't done much besides put together perhaps his best season as a pro and will be representing the National League at next week's All-Star game.

BACK TO ACTION

After getting through a bullpen session on Tuesday, Oswalt is in line to start tonight's game in Washington. The right-hander was given a numbing shot last Saturday in hopes of relieving the hip pain that has cost him two starts.

"I was a little worried at first," Oswalt said on the team's website. "I was probably throwing 70-80 percent when I first got out there. The last 20 pitches, I threw as hard as I could throw. I didn't feel anything. I wasn't as crisp as my last start, but hopefully it comes back Friday."

Miguel Tejada, who has played in nearly every game this season, was given the day off Wednesday, and with that off day, the hope is he will have his battery re-charged a bit. Second baseman Kaz Matsui came off the disabled list on Wednesday and recorded two hits.

WHO'S HOT

Ty Wigginton has picked it up with eight hits in his last five games.

WHO'S NOT

The aforementioned Tejada is in a 2-for-18 rut. Michael Bourn found himself benched for four straight games after an 0-for-19 slump, although he did respond with two hits on Wednesday.

The team last week designated reliever Oscar Villareal (1-3, 5.02 ERA, 35 appearances) for assignment. On Thursday, Villareal rejected his demotion to the minors and will become a free agent. Houston is on the hook for the remainder of his $2.85 million contract.

A LOOK AHEAD

As indicated, Oswalt will return to action tonight against Tim Redding (6-3, 4.06) and the Nationals. Rodriguez (3-3, 3.23) will take the hill Saturday opposite Collin Balester (1-1, 5.06). And on Sunday, it will be Brandon Backe (5-9, 5.07) against Odalis Perez (2-6, 3.66).

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FOOTBALL TRASH TALK

NFL Football Trash Talk

Trash talk has a place in every competitive endeavor (except baseball; those stirrup-wearers are too busy chewing on their sunflower seeds and their supplements to worry about what their opponents are doing).

Fantasy sports is no exception. Any intelligent discussion of the subject would probably start with a thesis statement or a definition of terms. Thankfully, this wont be an intelligent discussion.

Let me just say that I am happy to take a place in this space alongside my talented colleagues, even our commissioner. (You should see how she bleats like a demented paper boy about league fees on our fantasy site).

Trash talking, I would argue, is primarily about amusing your friends, their sheeplike demeanors and sloping foreheads notwithstanding. The best place I have found for football trash talking is at www.SportsAlarm.com.

Beyond the entertainment factor, though, I would recognize that the sophomoric ritual has one advantage, when properly applied. It magnifies your fantasy triumphs and mitigates your fantasy failures by transforming the eventual point total into an afterthought. Winning makes it seem like your opponent really is a truss-owning, lapel-pin-wearing nitwit. And in defeat, trash talk can be the air bag to break the fall from your hyperbolic heights. The plug-necked yahoos on your team, you can say, will be sacking groceries by the end of the season.

The best trash talk, in my view, is layered and nuanced. And it doesnt focus only on your opponents team. It picks apart your opponent. The idea is to create a shock-and-awe-scale blizzard of nonsense, and the goal is to make your opponent drop his hands from his keyboard in exasperation.

What team does your opponent root for? Accuse a Giants fan of having a Joe Namath pillowcase. Wheres your opponent from? Give a look of concern no matter his reply, then say, I'll try to type slower for you next time. Is your opponent into politics? Label everyone a tax-and-spend corporate shill.

Cap all that with a liberal application of irrelevance. For instance, dont just conclude by saying your opponent is a twerp who drafts like my grandmother. Say that your opponent is a sweater-wearing, eyebrow-plucking twerp who drafts his team about as well as Zsa Zsa Gabor gave acceptance speeches at the Oscars. By the time your foe makes sense of that, his starting running back will have had puppies.

But what about you? Hmm? Recall a memorable slam? Have a tried-and-true technique? Know someone who seems impervious to insult? Take a moment and tells us about it. Put together some (fit-for-publication) thoughts. You wont be too busy returning phone messages from your friends, Im sure, to reply.

In addition to the trash talking, the Sports Alarm has a huge gallery of high resolution pictures of beautiful women and models in bikinis. The most popular models are: Lindsay Lohan, Carrie Underwood, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Paris Hilton.